Kawały

The riddle of the investor with three girlfriends

There was an investor who had three girlfriends, but he didn't know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total make over with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the investor, 'I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.'

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, 'I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.'

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, 'I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.'

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and then decided.

Q: Who did the investor marry?

A: from right to left: !stit tseggib eht htiw eno ehT

The investment banker and the Mexican

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.
Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked, "How long does it take to catch them?"
The Mexican replied: "Only a little while".

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then?"
The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the
public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions.. Then what?"
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Jeden kawał nadesłany na Maklers Facebook:

Kawał branżowy z kraju frankofonskiego .dla mniej zorientowanych "bourse" ma wiele znaczeń-giełda,stypendium,torba.moszna .... Quelle est la différence entre un courtier de Wall Street et un acteur porno ?
Le courtier a des actions en bourse alors que l'autre a les bourses en action... w wolnym tłumaczeniu ,,,,Jaka jest różnica między maklerem z Wall Street a aktorem z filmu dla dorosłych??....Makler ma akcje na giełdzie podczas gdy ten drugi ma moszne w akcji"